With eye surgeries coming soon, I thought it would be nice to get off one more set of stories first. I’m not interested in putting down what is going on so much from Ma’s or my eyes, but stories of the ” kids”.. More fun for me..
I am starting these in early August, giving me a month to slog through writing when reading is just short of impossible with this stupid ultra white background …Hopefully I can get a few in..
I have, for a very long time, called the new fawns ” Bunnies” as most that read/ have read my stories knows… I haven’t written for a while due to the cataracts so We’re jumping back..a bit..
” Rotten Kid ! Come out of there !” Our doe groan as she plodded up the hill towards the buck brush.” Whew. If you don’t come out soon…Crap! Dang kid..Come On!” She lay down with a moan, looking up to Ma, who was sitting in her swing, crooning to the poor stretched belly doe.
” Where’s the baby Mama? Shhhhow me the Baby… Poor girl, it’s starting to get warm and you were panting coming up the hill.”
” The Baby is an absolute brat and refuses to come out. All the other girls around have had their fawns and I am still hauling around luggage in my belly. “ The doe grumped as she tried to get comfortable in the brush. ” No more kids for me. I don’t care how hot the buck with the long eye lashes is. No more Bunnies!”
“It’s ok Mama.. She’ll come soon. Maybe today. “ Ma said as she watched the doe grimace. Our girl stared back at Ma, her mouth in a thin line.
” Yeah, ok..well maybe by the end of the week then.” Ma smiles as she tries to sooth our girl…
The two sat quietly together as other does brought in their fawns to the watering hole then on to the mineral block.
One pair of twins stood, staring at Ma. ” What is it? It doesn’t look like Mama. “
” That’s Gramma .. Be polite.” Their mama answered.
” Her fur on her head is rrrreeeeeaallly long and she sits…weird. “
” Go say Hi to Gramma…She babysits when we need a break from you brats. “ The mama told them as she nudged them towards the house.
” Hiiiiiiiiii Grammamma…” The twins chorused as they stared at Ma.
” You two are soooo cute. ” Ma crooned to the babies.
The two giggled as they tucked their heads into each other smiling.
I watched out the door, watching Ma. ” Where’s the baby? “
The twins both leaped in the air, spun and ran to the mama. Our girl laying in the brush gave me the evil eye as she pant.
” Oh.. Bunnies! Cool. Hi Bunnies ” I smiled at the kids.
The twins looking out from under their mama’s belly stared wide eyed. “Whhhho is That?!?” One of the twins asked as they stared.
The doe looked at me, rolled her eyes and answered ” Grumpa.”
But I’m thirsty
” How about now?”
” No…Wait right there.”
” I can see Gramamma and Grumpa. “
” Right there! There! See! Grumpa is barking again..”
” Fine. But be nice. Let them know they are babysitting so they stay outside ok?”
“Huh? Fine? Ok. Bye!”
The little fawn came running down out of the trees while Ma and I were standing on the deck watching the smoke to the south of us. We started grinning at the baby as she came in.
” Hi Grammamma ! ….Hi Grumpa…You bark REALLY loud..Firsty I neededed a drink…Just a second.” The fawn slurped up water from the pond as she watched us, water drooling down her chin as she smiled. …She stood still, thinking….” Mama said….Mama said I was spose to tell you……You’re sitting me . K? Ok.. I haff to run back now. B-bye.” The fawn raced back up the hill into our north trees again where her mama was waiting.
MA looked out our Master bath window, watching the does and fawns drinking from the pond.
Mama and the twins were out there as were two does with a single baby, all standing around the pond, waiting their turn. I stood, looking over Ma’s shoulder grinning at the babies when our girl comes in with her new baby.
” Finally” we said together as we smiled at the little baby. All the other fawns’ spots were starting to fade except for our new little addition. A very late baby,; she drank from the pond, about three quarters the size of the smallest of the others, her spots still sharp and bright. Our girl stood next to her as the other does came in to see the new baby.
” Pretty small. “ One doe said.
” Awful late for a new baby. ” Said another.
” We had ours at the Normal time. You really should have been having her a LOT earlier you know. “
Our girl lay her ears back and taking a leaf from Grumpa … “Back the heck off . My baby is just fine. She’ll catch up in plenty of time. Besides…..Everyone knows you save the best for last. “ She flipped her tail and bunnie followed her off to the mineral block. Bunnie, looked back over her shoulder longingly at her friends, sighed and trotted next to her mama.
Is he looking?
Ma was sitting in the covered porch watching our does coming in for water and mineral block… The girls would say hi and then go about their business..
IN the morning room, my eyes still not good for much else than playing marbles, I saw something coming in from the north. I pulled up a pair of binocs, attempting to get them to focus to my eye…
” Crap Crap Crap!!!! Is that deer or elk..Deer or Elk??” I finally gave up and stuck my head out the door to ask Ma.
” Elk. “
Well.. It’d be super cool if I could actually tell.. Oh well.. I walked quietly out into the porch to sit down with the binocs…
” I see you..”
Two cows and a calf….Four cows…err… Six cows….and more coming.
The two cows watching me, simply…watched.. The other girls had lunch in our field The girls kept looking over their shoulder to the grove behind them, letting us know that there were more to come.
The small herd slowly made their way to the East, circling below the berm. A few of the cows would head north as if there were more elk below the saddle that were out of our line of sight.
Our doe hung around with us, slowly going back and forth from the watering hole to the mineral block and back.
” Smells like a freakin barn yard out there.” Our girl muttered as she watched the herd with a grimace.
Ma and I grin as we watched the herd slipping in behind her.
” That’s right; I hang with Ma while you guys hide and watch…Mmmmmm..mineral block soooo yummy. The water is soooooo cool. “ She called out over her shoulder, batting her eye brows at us.
A cow’s head pops up from behind the berm as she glared at the doe. She saw me standing there and pull her neck back down , only the top of her head showing as she watched me.
” You know I’m bigger than you…Right?” The cow grumped to the doe.
” Bawk Bawk Bawk. “ The doe called back.
Another head popped up over the berm, the cow opening her mouth, then saw me and slowly the head disappeared.
” Yeah, I thought so…Bawk Bawk Bawk..peep peep peep. “ The doe snickered. She looked to us , waggled her ear,s grinning.
” You know, you’re kinda pissing them off ..Right?” I chuckled.
Our doe looked up smiling at us, turn to look over at the elk some fifty yards away then started licking the mineral block in long, slow, exaggerated runs over the block. She made absurdly loud smacking noises and moans…. Giggled and started again.
” Really?..Really?” I said as we watched her.
The doe giggled once again….and started the licking and moaning again, glancing at the elk cows who were pouting, only their heads showing from behind the berm as they watched first her, then us, and back again.
Our girl, salted and watered out, yawned, turned back to us.. ” I am going to head out. Byyye Ma..” She slowly made her way to the berm, grazing in front of one of the cows, hiding the view of the house from her. ” Wow. That salt filled me up, I can barely eat any grass.” she murmured to the cow.
“Oh..just..Shut up.” The cow pouted.
We finally decided to go in so that the herd could come in for some water as they obviously were too skittish to head in while we were out.
Ma and I sat in the living room, watching some TV. but mostly watching the herd slowly come over the rise to watch the house.
” DO think he can see me?” the cow asked our doe.
Our girl looked down at the house, seeing me clearly through the window.. ” Seriously? I doubt he saw you when he was outside..Friggin Mr. Magoo . You’re good. “
The herd slowly came down the hill as the sun set. The cows mill about the buck brush as dark set in.
Some time later, Ma went out to go sit on the porch, the night blackening the skies.
” You know, “ I said to Ma, ” You’ll probably walk in on the herd in the yard.”
” Probably. “ She replied as she walk out the door.
Ma came back in a half hour or so later,” Yup. The herd was in the yard. They just cross back over the fence to the brush again, waiting for me to come back in.”
The lead cow, look in the window. The others slowly ambling to the fence again.
” Is he looking? “ One of the other gals asked.
” It’s really hard to tell.” She wave her hoof at me, then waggled her ears. ” Nah.. he’s blind as a bat, come on in.”
Now, I can see as well as the next lump of rock, but I do try to not walk into things for the most part. Now driving is always an adventure, but, for the now, I don’t have a ton of choices. I figure that in all reality, I am probably safer to be around on the roads than the average person… I am not staring at, holding in the palm of my hand in front of my face and yacking over to texting on my phone. We still have flip phones. I don’t like talking on the phone, which is why I normally text.. which may, right now, be hard to read whatever it is I text. I do not need a ton of little gadgets and doodads to get me through my day. I do not need to call out to Siri to find answers on the web for every damn thing that goes through my mind..That, my friend, would be a seriously dark hole to go down…And anything I do decide I need to look up… I figure, even I can spell things close enough to Google it when I get home…….
Soooooo, especially this time of year, I spend most of my time staring at the ground in front of me on Zen…. We have rattle snakes and I hope that I can see them before I step on them…So far they are 1 and 0…. I can, seemingly, jump into the back of a truck instantly when I hear rattling at my feet…Who knew?
When I walk back and forth to the outbuildings, I look for movement. Generally if something moves, I can at least track it…. Bunnies don’t move.
I stepped past my truck to have one of our pygmy cottontails burst from under my foot..
” HEY! Watch where you are walking!” The little bunny yelled at me from a few feet away.
” Technically.. I was watching where I was walking.. Just not where you were sitting. “ I answered back in a huff.
Bunny glared at me as I walked past him only to have a second cottontail leap out from under my foot. ” What the hell? Are you trying to make us a pair of Bunnie Slippers?”
Once my heart came back down out of my throat, I stuck my tongue out at the second bunny rabbit. ” Hush you…. I’ll make bunny stew out of the lot of you. “
” Bah!. We are too small.. You’d have to get a lot of us. Think of all that skinning.. You are Waaaayyy too lazy to do that. “ He said as he puffed out his cheeks,
I pointed my finger at him..don’t ask which one…opened my mouth to retort then sagged my shoulders. ” Yeah.. You got me there..Damnit. “
I took two more steps, glaring at the two rabbits who were trying to stare me down when a third bunny leaps out of my way. ” What!?! Are you Blind?!?”
We all glanced back and forth at one another then burst out into laughter at my expense .
So, if you didn’t read about Lass and her adventure at living indoors with us, here is that story
Once Lass made her way back outside, she has been my weenie leetle shadow up here on Zen. If I am outside, Lass will find me to say ” Hi” . If I am working in the shop, nine out of ten times I have the door open and she will come in to see what I am working on…usually to give me expert advice on where I am screwing up. If we are in the living room, she’ll pop into the covered porch to see what we are up to. If I am in my office, she’ll swing in and land on the bush outside my window to make sure I am not just screwing around. If I am not in any of those areas, she flies to the tree outside the Master Bath to see if I am in there…..Which, if she were a person, I’d be a little creeped out , but as she is a little hummingbird; it is pretty cute.
Each time Ma and I are out sitting in the covered porch, she’ll swing in to chat for a bit, sitting on the tether for the canopy or the zip tie that bundles the supports for a tomato plant that is on the deck.
” Hey Da.. Hi Ma! I haven’t seen you in minutes! So, what is new?” The little Anna chirps out to us.
” Hi Hums. How are you Lass? “ I answer back.
” Well… I flew around the house a bunch of times. I chased my sister around the house a few more times. Theeeennnnn, I yelled at Hummie because he is a jerk. Theeeeennnnn I come to see you……” She took a deep breath, “..Yup..”
We smiled at her as she sit quietly, waiting to hear Ma talk about knitting and spinning stuff. Ma watched her for a bit to make sure she was done catching us up then went on working through her new design for a shawl she is spinning for as she knits, and on to changes in design on a sweater is is also designing as she knits.
You can see Lass actually bend forward as she listens, trying to work out in her head Ma’s changes. She nods at all the right spots, then in Lass’s fashion; she tips her beak up and goes into a light sleep while she listens to Ma and I talk back and forth.
With a whipping and beating a of wings; Lass’s sister swoops in to batter about Lass, chirp then fly off, Lass in hot pursuit . ” I was sleeping there ! You wait until I catch you!”
Just that quick the tables turn and Lass flies past, her sister hot on her tail.
” WAAAAHHHHH” Lass calls out as she flies between Ma and I, her sister close behind giggling as they zip between us.
Moments later, the two land on the feeder to take a quick power up , glaring at one another. Suddenly, the two spin off, circling each other in a torrent of battering wings. They spin towards the ground, bumping into Ma’s Lavenders , slowly getting higher and higher until they are out of sight…Ma’s sight… Waaaaaaaaay past when I could ” see” them until, with a CRACK!, the two are back down at our level, again, flying between us in serpentine ear brushing chase mode. Up and over the roof out of sight and sound.
Ma and I have to laugh at their antics as, once again, here they come with a repeat performance ; brushing both Ma and myself before they are gone again.
Some time later, Ma in her office, Lass swings in to land on Ma’s rose bush.
” Hi Ma!.. Where’s Da? I can’t find him and his blinds are closed.”
” He’s in his office Hums. His eyes are just giving him a bad time.” Ma smiles as she answers my little guardian.
” OK..I’ll go see. “ and off she flew.
” Da!…Da!…Da!DA!Da!..Are you in there? I have a secret to tell you.”
I peek between the blinds, squinting at the morning sun. The little hummer is sitting outside my window. ” Sup hums? “
“Da! I have a secret to tell you! Open the window. “ She calls out as she fidgets on the branch.
Sliding the window open, I ask again, ” What’s up Lass? “
” Hiii! Da…Just checking on you. Gotta go.” and with that, off she flies.
I chuckle as I pull the blinds back down, my eyes seeing nothing but purple with the white sparkler effect I get in the dark or when I stress my eyes. Muttering;” Little goob… That was Not a secret…Goose. “
Our female bobcat comes in every year with her new kits to show off and do a meet and greet with Ma and I. Earlier this spring our girl came prancing through most each morning as I sat in my office, the movement pulling me away from what work I was doing to see the spotted feline heading north to our grove just above the homestead.
” Hey Da…”
” Mornin… What’s new pussycat ?”
” yeahhhhh That was funny…several years ago…” She pointed out as she called over her shoulder.
I shrugged and went back to work.
The next morning I look up to see her pad through yet again.
” Morning Da. “
” Mornin Kitty. What are you up to? “
” Can’t talk..Busy.. “
I watched her make her way up into the trees yet again.
This continued off and on for a couple weeks. I hadn’t seen any kits this year and was beginning to think she didn’t have any. Normally, we would see two or three bouncing little fluffballs with her as she would lead them through the yard to introduce them to us.
My eyesight , as it is yet, I don’t see very well at any distance and anything below thirty feet I need to see movement or whatever simply is another color in the pallet .
Ma got my attention as, once again, I work at the computer while she sat in the covered porch area.
” Babies..” She mouthed to me, once she had my attention.
That term is pretty broad up here as we have had hordes of baby hummers and up through calves and fawns. My mind went straight to deer though it was still pretty early in the season for them. I jump up, going to the morning room, grabbing my camera and binocs as I scan the fields and woods for deer or elk.
” Where? What? “ I called out to her through the storm door.
Ma pointed, again, to the north while I grimaced, looking for dragons.
With a deep sigh., I put down the binocs, grabbed the camera to start scanning yet again, looking up and down the acres and miles for anything…Anything at all. Meanwhile, Ma is pointing, with earnest, to the North… AT this point, I can feel my blood pressure rising .. I finally gave up, opened the door…
” What babies? Where? Exactly what in the hell am I looking for?”
Ma put her finger to her lips and mouthed ;” Kitties”
I brought my scanning in… a thousand yards.. to look at the wood pile some fifty feet away. There they were..right under my nose; three bobcat kits and Mama kitty, who was watching me with a smirk.
” Oh yeah.. It’s all funny teasing the Magoo ..” I grumped.
The three kits, stopped, looked up at me, giving me a cheesy grin and back to play. Two were on the top of the wood pile, playing king of the hill while the third dug around the wood pile looking for treasures . Mama kitty sat chatting with Ma about the new batch of furry little terrors , both of them with that knowing smile of raising children as they rolled their eyes at each others stories .
The kids, finally getting anxious , leap off the wood to play around the junipers, getting ever closer to Ma and her ball of yarn as she knit.
Mama kitty seeing the problem, gathered up her little monsters as the lone explorer made her way to the foot of the deck, made a small huffing sound and began her trot to the south……. Non of the kids paid attention… Just like any kid… She turn, sat down, sighed deeply. Ma gave her a commiserating half smile.
” Oye!” Mama kitty huffed again. ” Get your fuzzy little butts over here or no more visiting Granmamama. ”
Even Dora the Explorer stopped to look back. ” Wait..What? But..but.. I just wanted …The Yarn! “
” Get over here or I’ll leave you with Grumpa.”
“Jeeeeeze… I’m coming already.” She call, as she look over at me with a wince.
I frown.” Yeah.. Ok.. I see how it is. … Fine.. Don’t mind me…” I grumped. ” No, no..no feelings bruised here or anything. “
Mama kitty grin up at me. ” Oh good. “ Giggled with Ma and the troop tracked off toward our south grove.
” Is my sarcasm lost on everyone ? Really? Really?” I glare at the bouncing little mama and her kin as they made their way down the fence line.
” Oh no.. simply ignored.” The bobcat called over her shoulder.
” You know I can hear you guys laughing right?” I called out in a huff.
The giggles from the cats only got louder.
I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue at the whole lot of them, stomping back into the house with a trace of a grin.
Times are crazy bordering on insane right now..everywhere.
Life behind a mask where ever you go… or the people acting like petulant children, refusing to wear masks, whining about rights…Basically taking away the rights of everyone around them who simply want this over.
The masks are to keep the people around you from not getting your cooties . It ISN’T your right to spread this shit you know. No one has that right. Very few things right now piss me off more than the people walking around refusing to wear a mask.. What I find funnier than hell is that every last one of them walk around with their nose in the air..EXACTLY like the self centered petulant child whose mama croons just how special they are.. I can’t get it out of my head, as every damn one of them has that ” I dare you” look on their face….
Oh yes… Yes I will and do… I am always up to a dare of that sort.
It has taken weeks to get this far on this post, rather than an hour or two. I still can not ” see”..well.;…Seeing…. I am days away from the first surgery and it still simply does not seem real to me.
Freaked out? Oh HELL yeah.
I grew up with;
” Don’t run with scissors. You’ll put your eye out. “
…and here we are, intentionally having someone sticking things in my eye..er..eyes.
First surgery is Sept 3.. That is the bigger of the two (for me); trying to fix the damage from a work injury in 2017..Workman’s comp refused to help. Our insurance we pay for refused to help… Um.. thanks…Money well spent…
Since the injury, I have had a migraine ..every day..every night.. Some days it buries me and I have to sit in a blacked out room.. The rest, I just munch aspirin types all day long as well as getting up through the night to do the same. From dusk to dawn, or if I try to wear a patch to shut down the light,
I have fireworks in the right eye.. Fun Bright White fireworks..So yeah… sleeping; fireworks…Driving after dark…Oh yeah.. all kinds of special… They actually stopped for a few weeks while I was off work this spring..towards the end.. They came back the very first evening I went back to work..Yippy.. I actually even started to see more than shadows at the end as well, so when I almost wrecked shortly after coming back to work when the cataracts in my left eye went crazy, sending me back to the eye doc, we found out that the eye that has been playing at dead for all these years may have a chance.. 20/80 maybe but beats the hell out of 20/200 at present.. But… there are no promises..Simply a chance. As docs wont even begin to talk about the fireworks, or much about the migraines, we have no idea which direction that will go.
Beings it just doesn’t seem real to me; seeing through that eye, or even remembering what it was like to see out of either correctly, let alone both.. I just can not grasp it. So.. It simply isn’t real to me yet. We will find out in a matter of days.
I have talked with several people, as they come back from the COVID lock downs and Summer vaca, each with stories of folks with cataract surgeries and how well they went.. One used the term : “Shocked” at the person’s reaction to the after changes.. I feel that would be the best term to fit what it would be if it all works out as I know it will.. I just want to get past them both for that matter, but the right eye is my biggest, and Doc’s concern.
I got the call yesterday eve from the Surgery Nurse.. Everything was the norm on allergies COVID crap and so on.. right up to the;
” Do you have a living Will? Have you made plans for distribution of any body parts?”
………………………….. Then she asked me about High Blood pressure……….
Well YEAH.. NOW
I later got an email from the surgical temple of doom saying that they prefer to have you not being around people for two days before the surgeries.. I also have to start the meds, one at two days, the other the day before.. I need to give them a call on Monday to double check on the day/s before ..before I call in to work…
Soooooo in any case… Here we go….
I was trying to look at some of the newest ” collection” of songs ” Shittes and Giggles” only to find that Windows 10 did it again…..Every so often it simply wipes files. I never know what or where, let alone why.
It pulled multiple tracks from one of the new songs; wiped them and corrupted the song… This is the third song of the collection it has done this to…I just ordered some Hard Drives that I can dock up , put all the files and folders into then pull the HD right back out in hopes that I can keep this stupid version of Windows from puking all over months of work… So… Looks like I’ll be starting over on some songs…again…
” Shakin’ my Tree “
All have been corrupted. I do have mixdowns of each in their present state.. You folks have heard most of them, But I’ll have to start over to do any more work on them ; Remix, add/subtract tracks, do any clean up , before they went into the Final collection or ” CD”
Zen they howled
With the surgery getting close, Ma in a new position at work; Office of the President no less..We aren’t sleeping well.
One “night” I woke up at 12:15am ..That was it, I was awake from there on…This night, I managed to sleep until 2: 30am.. I finally got bored with staring at the clock at 3am deciding; ” Bleh.. close enough..”
Rhey snuck in close to the house, Dennis following behind, stepping on twigs. Rhey turned around, glaring at him..
” Shhhhhhh.. You’ll wake Da up and ruin everything. “
“Ummm.. It wasn’t me? “
Rhey rolled her eyes, shook her head and began her stalk once again.
Rhey cringed, looked back at her brother and let out a sigh. Dennis stood, one paw up as he looked at the pad and shrugged.
Moving quietly, Rhey made her way under my bedroom window. Dennis was still staring at his paw. Rhey grumbled under her breath;
” OH MY Gawd…Dennis… get your fuzzy butt up here.”
Dennis looked one more time at his paw, put it to the ground where it crunched yet again.
Rhey stalked back to him , glaring. ” What..Exactly is your Problem? “
Dennis lifted his paw again, staring at it, put it back down with a crunch.
” I am going to beat the fuzz out of your ears if you don’t stop that. “
Once again Dennis lifted his paw to stare.
” GAWWHHH! I can’t believe we are related…I am sure you are part squirrel. ” Rhey groused as she shook with rage. ” Look at the ground! Holy Crap Batman! It’s a twig on the ground! Quit stepping on it!”
Dennis stopped looking at his paw, glancing to the ground at the pile of twigs. ” Heh. “ He put his foot slowly to the ground, then pressed on it. Lifting his paw, he looked and grinned, then put it back down again smiling. “Sweet. “
” GAWWH!” Rhey spun on her heel making her way back up under the window, Dennis in tow.
” Ok..together.. One…Two..”
” Wait, Wait. So ON three? or One, two three and then howl?” Dennis asked.
Rhey’s shouldered bunched, she slowly turned her head around.
” ON three.. as in One, two..Howl.. “
” Wait Wait..” Dennis interrupted. “Soooo What are we howling?”
Rhey squeezed her eyes shut, slowly turning her head. ” Ad-lib “ ‘ One …Two..”
Rhey looked over at her brother rolling her eyes. ” Really? ….Really?”
” Oh just never mind.. Now we do it again and wait for Da to Grump. “
Rhey just closed her eyes, shaking her head…Slowly she opened them again to look at her brother with his tongue hanging out, attempting to stare at it. “Riiight.”
They waited….and they waited…
” Ummm…Should we do it again? “ Dennis asked.
” Nooooooo… Something isn’t right here.” Rhey got up on her hind legs to peek in the window. ” Da isn’t in bed.” She stepped back down to pad around the house.
She saw the windows to my office lit up. ” Oh Come on now!” Seriously? “ She sat in front of my window. ” Da… What the hell? It’s barely 3 am..I am suppose to wake you. How can I wake you if you are already awake..Exactly?” She glared at me as I looked out.
” Hey Rhey.. Mornin Dennis.. Stepped on some twigs? “
Dennis nodding his head as if it were barely attached, his tongue slapping himself in the eyes.
I snorted then looked back to the glaring female coyote . ” Sup Rhey?”
” You…Are a funsucker.”
” Thanks? “
” No. Really. I had to drag…. That! “ She turned her glare on Dennis, who was licking his forehead . ” all the way up here……And you weren’t even there to wake up.”
” Uhhhhhh..Surprise? “ I smiled at her.
She stalked off into the night, her brother following behind singing “Addddlllliiibbbbb…AAAAAAAAdllllibbb. “
Rhey groused as she made her way over the berm;
” Just another FREAKIN Jolly day here on Zen Mountain”